Article by Haniel Adhar
There really isn't anything in this world that will rip your soul apart more than your ego refusing to admit that you are responsible for your actions.
It is one thing to be a victim of circumstances. We all know that at times, the details can be obscured, and we can be lied to and deceived into making a wrong decision. It happens, and it can be very unfortunate.
It is a completely different story when you create the circumstances yourself, and make (or fail to make) decisions that affect the outcome of such circumstances, and yet you refuse to own up to your boneheaded mistakes and pin the blame on someone else, who, ironically, is the victim of the circumstances you created. The inability to see that is one of the great crimes of human nature, and the refusal to correct that destroys more relationships than anything else: the drive and desire to be "right", even when you know you are completely wrong and are 100% culpable for the situation.
I would rather someone be honest and say "Eh, I fucked this one up. I don't care. I have no shame. Deal with it" than hear someone back pedal, get defensive, deflect blame, and refuse to hold themselves remotely accountable. That is someone who just doesn't learn, and will never grow in life. They will just keep deluding themselves into believing that they are totally blameless and are incapable of making mistakes. These are the sorts of people, and we all know them, that refuse to heed warnings, and then make the mistakes anyway, then *blame* the person who warned them for the very mistake that they made. It is a twisted, demented, ego-drama that quite literally is like a poison for any relationship. One person is very clearly at fault, but actually channels the blame onto the person who has to deal with their blunder, and fix it. These sorts of people would rather placate their own ego, and defiantly refuse to admit their humanity by owning up to their mistake, punishing those around them by dragging them through this ego-drama, and remain completely alone, shutting everyone else in their lives out because they are too humiliated to interact with those who called them out on their mishap.
Personally, I see this more than I would like to, especially in my family life. But professionally, it is rampant. Health Care "Professionals" make these catastrophic mistakes, then someone like me has to come in and fix the problem, and these people blame me or my methods for the very problem that I am attempting to correct, that they created themselves. Welcome to 21st century health care, where the blame game is the only game in town, and kicking-the-can-down-the-road and throwing a napkin over the turd on the carpet is the standard of practice.
It is all ego-drama. They refuse to admit they are wrong, and in order to protect their fragile, brittle egos, they demonize, polarize, and ostracize everyone else that poses a threat to their self worth. Their self image is so weak, so feeble, that to admit being wrong is enough to crush them completely.
And, sadly, there are some people who will never get it, and they will take this ego-driven soap opera to their graves, ruining every relationship that they ever had with every person in their lives, while still believing their skewed reality that every mistake they make is the responsibility of someone else.