Poem: "flight of the fox" by Jeremy Void

flight of the fox
By Jeremy Void

what am i so afraid of?
why am i so afraid?
no one’s coming to get me
i am not in danger
vulnerability
fuck!
i cant let anybody know
but if i let everybody know
then you might think i’m brave
you might not see me so afraid
but i am horrified
i am dying
i think i’m dying
life is misery
i suffer every day i wake up
why bother going to sleep
if i’m only going to repeat this suffering
again & again
like i’m stuck
in a monstrous black hole
i’m alone
i know i’m alone
we are born alone
we die alone
love is lonely
sex is lonely
drugs make me feel special
communication is lonely
vulnerability
fuck!
why do i even bother pretending
when i am intent
on digging my feet deeper
into dirt and gravel
i am scared of everything
i wake up alone
i go to sleep alone
she tells me she luvs me
every night she holds me tight
i fall asleep in waves
delving deeper thru caves
forever afraid
of what??
getting out of this cold
and scary
grave
that i have been digging
every since the day i learned
how to breathe
vulnerability
fuck!
i am the most honest liar
you will ever have the dishonor
to watch
die
vulnerability
fuck!
why do i feel like such a monster
when all i ever wanted was to be held
and all i ever got
was a hug
i’m not worth your luv
sorry if this depresses you
see what i mean?
i shud be grateful
but i’m not
i’m just tired