ASPHYXIUM ZINE

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Poem: 'Nothing in the Bag.' by M Teresa Clayton

Nothing in the Bag.

The day is falling, and I will not open my arms to catch it or break its fall.
No, this time I know I cannot stop the inevitable, cannot change it at all...
The darkness is crawling up and over the hillside looking for me;
I will keep my eyes open, so they can adjust to the blackness and I can see.

I watch, helplessly, as my memories evaporate into the cold night air,
Like visions of alabaster orbs balancing on droplets of pearls up there.
Feelings I once held dear are escaping like frightened flocks of birds;
as if there had been a shot fired in the distance, my ears never heard.

Emptiness, a shell of a man, standing naked inside of the void of black,
Aware of all he is has gambled, all he has lost, the scars across his back,
Watching in a morbid awestruck stare - pieces of his mortal shell disappear -
evaporate along with the ether, he has nothing to concern him; nothing to fear.

Finally, the weight carried; the emptiness that became to heavy to bear -
He placed his knapsack upon the ground and opened it - there was nothing there.
"Why am I feeling what does not exist?" Why do I carry this empty load?"
"Why carry the sins of the past, when I was young, into a place where I've grown old?"

There is nothing there inside the bag that I can see with my eyes
Yet, feeling so much of nothing and everything - has all been lies
I've chosen to believe, and I am clinging to these hoping for more
Hoping they were truths, hoping they were everything I was living for.

Time now, to stand up and take account of who I am and who I'll be
'fore I am not empty standing here and, with eyes opened, I see.
Nothing is nothing and has no value and nothing can be lost
l am the Seeker and I have paid with my soul - the ultimate cost.

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