ASPHYXIUM ZINE

Monday, July 15, 2024

Full Length Review: Chopping Mall "Mauled By A Magical Bear..." (Dripfeed Records) by Dave Wolff

Project: Chopping Mall
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Country: USA
Genre: Deathgrind
Format: Vinyl, digital
Release date: May 3, 2024
According to one listener checking Chopping Mall out at Bandcamp, it’s the kind of album that should have been released on Razorback Records in the early 2000s. Besides that it’s a heavy, brutal slab of grindcore and deathgrind, I can also see the listener’s point because of the attitude that went into the songwriting, the wry humor behind the lyrics, the semi 80s’s-slasher-film vibe surrounding the musicianship and most importantly the professionalism that went into it.
Comprised of their 2020 debut “Mauled by a Magical Bear with Scalding Hot Liquid Cheese Spraying from Its Eyesockets” and a new collection of songs titled “Torn Apart By Raccoons While Being Eaten By A Gargantuan Cane Toad”, this double album is as notable for its lyrics, which are more integral to grindcore and deathgrind than usual, as its crushing music, which is delivered in a way that shuts down naysayers who judge extreme music as unstructured cacophony.
Founding member Koth Dolgomoru (also of Panda Kingdom and a few other bands) describes the lyrics as being “educational” while claiming each lyric was penned in less than five minutes. Naturally I took this as a joke, but he also claims to be a park ranger, naturalist and nature guide so who knows? Adding somewhat to the comedy, the project’s bio says the lyrics could save your life by educating you about food, occupational hazards, and forest animal fatalities (and yes, the lyrics are included track by track at Bandcamp, so reading along with them shouldn't be a problem).
Songs like "Gored by a Dinosaur Skeleton at the Museum", "Gurgling Vomit from the Mouth of an Engorged Walrus", "Gored by a Mammoth" and "Mangled by a Snowy Owl Who Is Magical Friends with a Snowshoe Hare," clearly display whimsical jest and an inventive, imaginative writing style. You normally wouldn't expect events as outlandish to occur on a camping trip, so the subject matter keeps reminding you it’s all meant to put a smile on your face. Something like a slasher comedy.
Regarding the quote above, the delivery is as precise and meticulous as it is primal and noncivilized. There’s a classic grind vibe recalling when grind first began inspiring death metal between the 80s and the 90s. There are also many hints of early/old school death metal giving weight to the savage nature of the lyrics. The remastering of the older songs and skilled production overall further validates the efforts of Terrorizer, Brujeria, Brutal Truth and Pig Destroyer to be taken seriously as instrumentalists.
I should mention the country/western parody of “Barbecue” is particularly worth checking out. –Dave Wolff

Lineup:
Koth Dolgomoru: Vocals, all instruments

Track list:
1. Mashed Into An Unrecognizeable Pulp
2. Forced To Eat Moldy Granola
3. Rapid Formation Of Mold
4. Burned By Hot Popcorn Steam
5. Gored By A Dinosaur Skeleton That Came To Life At The Museum
6. Impaled By Elephant Tusks
7. Shitting In Joel Oalsteens Mouth
8. Choking On Unchewed Food
9. Pushed Down An Elevator Shaft
10. Rotten Curdled Milk Spraying From The Mouth Of A Wizard
11. Bubbling Liquefied Innards Simmering In A Cast Iron Cauldron
12. Plastered In Unicorn Feces
13. Ruined Food
14. Mauled By A Magical Bear With Scalding Hot Liquid Cheese Spraying From Its Eyesockets
15. Shut Your Kid Up
16. Gurgling Vomit From The Mouth Of An Engorged Walrus
17. Dismembered By Mossy Elk Antlers
18. Shove Christmas Up Your Ass
19. Torn To Shreds By Eagle Talons
20. Formed Into Meatloaf
21. Barbecue
22. Gored By A Mammoth
23. Torn Apart By Raccoons While Being Eaten By A Gargantuan Cane Toad
24. Mangled By A Snowy Owl That Is Magical Friends With A Snowshoe Hare
25. Beaten Up By Al Capone
26. Falling Down The Stairs With A Tray Of Food
27. Trampled By Bison
28. Pushed Into A Wood Chipper By A Big Gangly Moose
29. Ripped To Shreds By River Otters
30. Smoking The Dust Of Ancient Mummies
31. Slowly Turning Into Mush

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