Poem: 'Fuck Off, Commercials' by Steven Michael Pape

Fuck Off, Commercials

by Steven Michael Pape

Fuck off, commercials,

I don't want to buy your shit,

Fuck off YouTube idiots,

With your ten million hits,

Playing computer games in your room,

Adults playing with dolls, is the end near soon?

Look at my house, look at my car,

We're rich people, we've progressed so far,

Fuck off Tesco, Morrisons, Asda,

These special offers,

Making your pockets fatter,

Fuck off Go Compare with that opera bit,

We understand your company we fucking get it

Fuck off Nationwide, your poets are shit,

Get John Cooper Clarke in to say his bit,

And bollocks to life insurance,

That I don't want to take,

How much cash will you earn,

When I'm no longer awake?

A Boots commercial buy 3 for 2,

And then stick anything with Gorilla Glue,

Anti-ageing creams & eye refiners,

Another DFS sale with their comfy recliners,

Diarrhoea relief and anti-acid cures,

Plush new carpets & wood stained floors,

A casino site, and a bingo lure,

Let's chuck our money on the floor,

And pay-day loans and We Buy Any Car,

Please walk to that cliff it goes down so far,

M&S with their healthy food,

Do I look like I've got money to lose?

Sausage rolls & party food,

A sex toys ad that looks quite rude,

Stella Artois that sounds so swish,

Four cans and you will be so pissed,

Jack Daniels, oh its so rock n roll,

You can't afford it on the dole,

And new kids toys,

So all the Children can moan,

Fucking Car Phone Warehouse,

With the latest I-phone,

And Purple Bricks and Tepilo,

Lets watch your wealth grow&grow,

I don't want any of this,

These fake consumer dreams,

A cold calling salesman,

Protruding out my screen.

It's all so fake, so impersonal,

Technicolor clad, fuck off commercials.