Tethering
By Heather Dawson
I needed - I wanted deeply
For, Fearing I would float off
The edge to oblivion -
No faith in self
And lacking confidence, I longed that I could Stay on terra firma.
So I played on the edges
Yet within the parameters
Thinking this would keep me safe
False ... False
When safety is the goal
Comfort is found in
the silk lined coffin
Steady sleep in the absinthe
No spark or shock
Hammock sway soundly
Into the ether of Orpheus
Inertia leading down straight roads
No turns off ramps detours
Monotony of broken lines
Almost teasing and pulling to the oncoming
Why why why stay on this course
Take the knife shining and shred the tether and Like a childhood dream just float away
I am envious of the boys
Their swagger their wander lust to go and do and be
I want to live beside them in their criminality and wantonness
I want to be the libertine
In the ramshackle rotting apartments
Ripped velvet curtains
Young girls begging for entry
Smoke rings and warm wet circles and sly laughter in the thick afternoon air
Thieving and begging through the dank streets until night cover.
The only comfort in the arms of some poor rich thing with desire strong and pockets deep
But the tether - around my slim ankle and looped around the leg of the couch keeps me standing still - never bothered but never reaching and letting all opportunities for freedom and glory glide by my eyes and slip through my painted fingers
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