JUDITH by M Teresa Clayton
A Broken Mirror, A Bleeding Fist
A silver Blade Against A Wrist
Tears Falling Down To Lips Unkissed
Ignore Her And She Won't Exist
She's Not The Kind You'll Come To Miss
- Author Unknown
“Good night, precious. I love you so much.” Judith squeezed Lily tight and kissed her forehead.
“Good night Mommy. I love you so much too,” she said as she returned a kiss to Judith’s forehead. “It will be alright, Mommy. My angel tells me that she will protect us.”
“Your angel?” Judith asked.
“Yes. She sings me to sleep every night so I don’t have to hear the voices.”
“The monsters that come here at night, I know they are really your friends but they sound like monsters and I get scared. My angel says she will protect us and make it all better. I figured that is why you met Ross. I thought she sent him to us so those others would go away.”
Judith stood in horror as Lily told her this. They were fighting for her? “Shhh, baby, there are no monsters and we would never let anyone hurt you either. We’ll always make sure you are always safe.”
Was she now talking to her daughter in third person? How long had she been doing this? Judith turned off the light and closed the door. As she walked into her own bedroom she knew she would have to take care of this somehow.
Judith removed the red velvet coverlet from the mirror and sat down on the vanity seat to prepare herself.
She sings her lullabies? Judith! You are an idiot. Take your head out of your ass and look at yourself! You look like a crack whore! Your face has seen a lot of cracks lately. Laughter.
Go ahead - paint it up. Perfume it up. You still smell like shit because you are shit. More laughter.
She reached down, picked up the kohl pencil to outline her eye and began to apply it carelessly. It really did not matter what her eyes looked like. They never look her in the eyes anyway.
Just look at you! Blackened eyes to hide the shame. You know what you are. WHORE!
Judith picked up the make-up brush and stroked it over her cheeks. Tonight I want to look alive, she thought. I want them to see that I am someone with feelings.
Your cunt has not felt alive since you were ten years old! You quit feeling the dicks sliding in and out of you years ago. They all begin to blend into one big mind-fuck, don’t they – Jeeeu-dith?
Red lips. I think I’ll go for the red lips tonight. They love my blood red lips, Judith kept the monologue running to block HER out.
A knock on the door.
Try to look alive, Judith. If they want to fuck their wives dead pussies, they would just stay home.
“Judy baby, my balls have been tight and hard all day just thinking about slapping against your round little ass.”
“Is that ALL you think about, Roy, your balls slapping against my ass? Wouldn’t you like something a little different tonight?”
“What does the lady suggest?”
“Don’t fucking call me a lady! We both know I’m not a lady.”
“Easy, girl. A little feisty tonight, are we?”
“I feel like sucking your balls up through your dick.”
“Oh, my God. Jude, do it. Please do it.”
Judith didn’t bother to disrobe. She pushed him down on the bed and quickly undid his pants exposing his member.
She manipulated him between her fingers and then lowered her face into his lap. She wanted to make sure he was pulsing hard and fully engorged before…
“AAGH, STOP! Oh my GOD, STOP! Son-of-a-bitch! You fucking crazy whore! STOP! GOD!
He finally managed to throw her to the floor and she grinned up at him with the skin from his penis still hanging from her blood red lips.
When he stood up the blood quickly spilled into his pants as he screamed in horror. Judith had to silence him before he woke Lily. She reached between the mattress and box springs and brought up the razor sharp glass shard hard enough to slice him from his hips to his chest.
“You know exactly what I am and I know exactly what you are,” she laughed.
He fell hard to his knees from the shock. Judith stood up tall and with one last sweep of her arm she slit his throat and silenced his voice. “By the way, my name is not Judy or Jude; it’s JUDITH!”
That turned out well; one monster slain and one less monster to scare my baby girl, she thought to herself with a proud sense of accomplishment.
'It took her almost an hour to move him into the kitchen and out of sight. She then had to pull the sheets off the bed and the rug up off the floor to get rid of the mess. She threw the blood soaked bedding over old Roy in the kitchen floor.'
Judith stood in the shower long enough to clean the stains of battle from her face and hands then, wrapping herself in a clean towel, quickly went back to the vanity to reapply her lipstick.
You are losing it Judith. You know you are. Look at you! Unraveling thread by thread. You think you can stop it? The leak is just getting bigger. Like mother, like daughter – like daughter – like daughter.
Judith looked at her reflection and the long scar of missing glass as she finished applying the cherry-apple red rouge to her lips. She screwed the lipstick back down into the barrel, replaced the tortoise shell cap, placed it carefully down atop the vanity, and then took the hairbrush and smashed it hard against the mirror for a second time. Another shard of glass fell to the floor. Yes, this will be perfect.
Tap-tap. Fucker was told ONE rap at the door!
Judith opened the door. This was going to be a busy night.
“Let’s not waste time with small talk.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him in. “What do you want – I’ll give it to you and more.” She gave him a sexy pout for the fun of it.
“Well, that’s hardly an offer a man could refuse.”
She felt his hands reach under the towel.
“Why don’t we start here?” he suggested as he slipped his finger in.
She moved with him as they slowly dropped down onto the bed.
“I’ll get a little taste then we’ll go from there,” he moaned.
As he buried his face between her legs, she reached under the pillow and lifted the splintered piece of glass, seeing their distorted reflection just before she buried it in the back of his neck.
She could feel the warm fluid flooding between her legs. Judith wasn’t sure if it was all him at that moment. She was wondering if she may have reached a climax at precisely the same moment he lost his.
Judith rolled him over and off of herself to see if her aim had been dead on. He never knew what hit him. The pointed end of the glass was peeking out of his throat beneath his chin. She could still hear his last breath gurgling from the gash, along with the pulse of blood spewing from his severed artery… one less monster.
Dragging him down the hallway and into the kitchen was no easy task. However, clean up was nothing more than flipping the mattress and wiping up the blood smear left behind from pulling him along the floor. Judith decided it was of no use to clean her self up just to get all dirty again.
Wonderful show you are putting on for me tonight, Judith. You are a real porn star. Do you really think you can destroy me, Judith? Look at you. You are a mess. You’ve done lost your marbles – a thread away from a straight jacket!
That hideous laughter.
'Judith came directly into the center of the mirror with the butt of her hand and shattered what was left of the mirror, dislodging it from the frame, and watched it fall like starlit dreams onto the floor around her. She looked down and saw grotesque pieces of herself staring back. An eye over there, another eye over here… her mouth fractured into tiny red droplets across the bedroom floor.
One more and she will be safe tonight.
Judith could hear his footsteps as he approached the door and swung it open before he had a chance to knock.
“Oh, dear Lord! Judith! What happened? Are you okay?”
Judith was standing naked beneath streaks of blood from head to foot. She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth realizing this was her own blood she tasted. She had opened her hand up with that last punch to the mirror. This might require stitches later but right now there was work to be done.
“Quick, let me look at it. You’ve cut yourself pretty deep.”
'She could almost feel herself believing he cared; he really cared.
“What is going on here?” he choked as he looked around the bedroom. There was blood everywhere, the bed, the floor, the hallway… “What the hell happened here?”'
He sat her down on the bed and ran to the bathroom for towels. When he came back into the bedroom she stood up. Trying to remain calm, Ross began in a soothing tone, “Judith, honey. I’m going to make a call to get some help. You’re hurt but you’ll be okay. Just let me make a call.”
'Judith stood up and walked over to him and kissed him hard on his lips. They would tell her the truth. She could hear the beeps as he dialed 911 into his cell phone and she instantly knocked it out of his hand.
“You didn’t kiss back, Ross. You stood there frozen like a deer in the headlights, Ross. Didn’t you know I would figure it out? You lied. You all lie. And, if you can’t get it with a lie you know you can get it with a little cash, isn’t that right Ross?”
“Judith, you’re hurt. I need to get you to the hospital before you lose any more blood. Look at your hand, Judith.”
She lifted her hand slowly back up to her mouth. This time she stuck out her tongue and slowly, sensually licked the blood off the back of her torn hand. She looked up to lock eyes with him and smiled devilishly at him.
“Please, Judith… let me help you.”
Where were the words ‘I love you’? He did not say a single word about loving her.
Because he never loved you… Judith.
HER voice was fading in and out like a radio signal just out of reach. Each piece of mirror seemed to carry some variance of HER voice… it was coming from all around her.
He loved fucking you! He loved your lips around his cock. He loved pumping himself dry into your…
Though the sound of HER voice was fractured and distorted, she could still hear her. Judith’s eyes darted over the splintered glass on the floor in an attempt to locate the source of the words.
The slap stung her cheek. She looked at him with blank incomprehension. Another slap knocked her to the floor and she saw him reaching down for the phone.
Judith pounced quickly for his arm and bit down as hard as she could.
“Agh!” He cried out loudly as she locked her jaw.
Judith looked up, and to her amazement a shard of glass, a narrow and perfectly shaped dagger, was leaning against the vanity leg reflecting her own bloody frenzied expression.
Judith watched as she wrapped her slender fingers around the larger section of the glass and the sharp edge sliced into the bed of her palm. She turned to face Ross one last time and whispered the words, “I love you.”
Judith surrendered to the pain and sat up straight in complete rapture, hypnotized by her own shattered images reflected upon the floor, as they disappeared into a mix of blood and flesh. She closed her eyes and realized that she was falling into the ecstasy and release of her own heightened passion from each plunge - one stab after another, thrusting in and out with wild abandon… into her own back.
“911, what is your emergency.”
“Need… help. 1021 46th Street.” The phone went silent.