Fiction by M Teresa Clayton
I rose to find you standing o'er me and I had no thoughts of my own to think yet I understood that I was at once free, but not really free... free from the womb that had become my tomb and has now birthed me here into this night, into your hands, into your world where I would once again... feel... and to feel is the curse that binds me here to the lost, to the fears, to the pain of once again paying the cost with tears and watching the moon wax and wane o'er the millennia as recompense for my sin... for your sin.
I remember you. You loved me once long ago when skies were blue and your love was true... you captured my heart with a gentle hand and tended to its every need - until you met her and then you severed yourself from me, you cut the ties and stood watching me bleed... how could you have forsaken me?
You watched with no emotion and no interest in where the coroner had taken me... and as I stood among the mourners in the crowd I screamed in terror and I screamed your name... your name... your name... why? Why have you forsaken me?
Years have come and gone and I slept unaware of my head upon the satin pillow that somehow flattered my face, a ghostly white... my bed - a box that once closed, would forever remove me from your sight... isn't that right? Isn't that what you wanted?
I did not fade away, my love... death would not grant me such a lingering grace - no, death found me while I was still alive with hope and a blushing smile upon my face... no, my love, there was not time to whisper goodbye or to ask you why... you had forsaken me when I... when I... trusted you with my life.
The moment came swiftly without a gasp or cry... I simply fell to the ground at your feet and there our love was severed and there all our dreams came to die.
And now, here you are standing o'er me... I remember, my love. O, now, how I remember... where is she now, the evil that deceived you and convinced you to leave me?
Have you forsaken her or did she forsake you? shake you? break you? take you and cut you down? Are you free, my love? Just like me?
You couldn't let me be... to sleep throughout eternity... no! you had to return and call me back to you, but you must know that I cannot awaken and you cannot heal the heart forsaken... you must know that you cannot revive me, this is not real, I am not alive, I cannot feel. But I do feel... can you feel me?... is it possible that you have returned to claim me once again, ask for absolution for your sin, can you breathe life back into me? Can you heal me?
I lie staring upward from my opened grave, into your face, into your eyes - motionless I lay before you dressed in black, fingers across my chest interlace and my mouth will not respond to my thought and my desire to understand... I understand not... I feel nothing but the renewed fears that run across and down my cheek in a flood of tears... tears that I can finally cry... along with the pain of the question why...
Tenderly you collect the droplets from my cheek and I feel your spirit growing weak... you are dying here with me and wish to spend your eternity beneath the ground with me... yes, you lie down next to me on the satin, cold and gray, and reach up to close the lid upon the box that will be lowered once again into the grave...
My love, I will not let you die until you answer the question why... you will spend eternity with the question, "why have you forsaken me?" Why?
M Teresa Clayton
Soundcloud link: http://soundcloud.com/m-teresa-clayton-108158354/forsaken