Saturday, January 5, 2019

Poem: 'About holiday gifts… Baby’s Gun' by Craig Michael

About holiday gifts… Baby’s Gun
By Craig Michael

Ooh No! Everybody Run!
The baby’s gotten hold of a machine gun, and baby wants to have some vigilante fun!
Small finger on the trigger, it’s ready to crank,
because little baby is getting tired of getting spanked..
Terrorist in diapers, it must be the rash…
Baby is kind of cranky and ready to unlash.
Gonna have some fun..
There’s a full clip in that oozy gun!
Everyone hide, everyone run!
The spoiled brat got a gun.
Automatic fun.
Baby’s got a machine gun. Run!
Ooh no! Where did we go wrong?
The baby is a terrorist, ain’t that some twist?
And that machine gun is wrapped tight around her fist.
And it’s the still of the night.
Ooh shit, she’s got us in her sight!
Baby has got a gun, nobody say a word!
Maybe she’ll just shoot the family bird..
Call in the police, get the S.W.A.T. team!
Baby is feeling a little mean.
Baby’s diaper ain’t even clean!
And the gun is spitting lead and spewing fog!
Damned diaper brat even shot the family dog!
Now watch her nap, she’s the last surviving family member.
And as she grows old, she won’t even remember.

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