"'Numb'" by Tanner Reiss

'Numb'
Tanner Reiss, Jan. 6th, 2023

Thoughts scream in my mind
Fractured with a bruise
Injured by another's abuse
An outcome I did not choose
Thoughts scream in my mind
Telling me to end my life
Clouded and weighing
Walking in a thick fog
Stranded in a lethal bog
Thoughts scream in my mind
Too weak to find my feet
But I will not survive defeat
I have never seen Chicago
But such as Linkin Park
"I've! Become so Numb!"

Numb to the noise
Numb to the smell
Numb to the taste
Numb to the touch
Numb to the agony
Numb to the joy.

No longer can I see delight
Nor the brightness in my eye
As thoughts in my mind scream
"THINGS AIN'T AS BAD AS THEY SEEM
ITS TIME TO TURN OFF YOUR LIGHT
JUST GO AHEAD AND FUCKING DIE"

Confusion, frustration, isolation
Unholy, unsafe contemplation
External rage, internal pain
Radiates every which direction
All whilst these never-ending
Thoughts in my mind still remain
Entrappening me in their lethal rain
I know I must never let the rains reign
But my ADHD mind is broken and strained

Eight months have elapsed
Since my mind was bruised
Concussive effects still linger
Creating uncontrolled anger
Putting me in critical danger
Whenever, wherever I see a trigger
I honestly hate this version of me
I wish I was "Consequence Free"
Exploring the Great Big Sea
Instead of battling this PTSD.
I wish there was a rewind button
To regress this depression into submission
And a way to control my aggression
Because it feels like I'm open season
If everything happens for a reason
Tell me, what the hell is the lesson?
When does the schoolbell ring?
If this is supposed to be a fight
Where is the Ref to save my life?

Thoughts scream in my mind
Fractured with a bruise
Injured by another's abuse
An outcome I did not choose
Thoughts scream in my mind
Telling me to end my life
Clouded and weighing
Walking in a thick fog
Stranded in a lethal bog
Thoughts scream in my mind
Too weak to find my feet
But I will not survive defeat
I have never seen Chicago
But such as Linkin Park
"If One More Light goes..."

[I DOOOOOOOOOO]