Saturday, January 6, 2018

Fiction: RISE OF THE SNARFWUFFLES by Devin Joseph Meaney


It was 2054 and the Snarfwuzzles had been on store shelves for a few months. Everything was going well... until the incident happened. Snarfwuzzles were sold to consumers as a life-like pet for people who did not want the responsibility of a real animal. A combination of robotics, illegal genetic engineering and cute multi-colored pseudo-fur lead to the creation of this lovable abnormality. At one particular retail outlet, sales were sky high for a few months, but just like any trend, Snarfwuzzles and the desire to own one quickly faded into obscurity. There were hundreds of snarfs, yet nobody wanted them. The store owner wanted to be rid of them, so he had them buried in a small polluted pond that was situated directly behind a nuclear power facility. Everything seemed ok at first, but within days the radiation from the power-plant had seeped into the snarf's mainframe, leading to a sequence of events that once unfolded would make everyone second guess buying products from large chains that care for nothing but profit. The Snarfwuzzles had come to life, the DNA of various predatory animals ingrained within their bio-engineering. They were painfully cute, and they were viciously hungry. The town didn't stand a chance! Blood and bones flew through the air like grim projectiles as hundreds of Snarfs feasted upon the town-folk, their adorable faces adorned with the life juices of many a fallen townie. The police could not stop them, and eventually the army had to be called in to put an end to the massacre. The battle lasted two days, but the Snarfs were soon destroyed, putting an end to their blood-laden rampage. The town-folk vowed to never again trust massive shady conglomerates, and to clean up the pond while bringing the power-plant itself up to code. Tragedy can be chaotic, but there is usually at least one star visible on the blackest of nights, that star being the knowledge that nature should never be played with, a feat that should be left for god himself and his acolytes.

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